Go to Levack Block, order a drink that requires a specific brand of vodka (as if you can taste the difference). Complain about the crowd. Chug your drink like you’re a real man (applies to women as well). Leave.
Proclaim Reposado as a better locale anyway. Notice it’s packed. Whine for 5 minutes about the crowd but order a drink anyway. Make sure it requires a tequila that no one has heard of. Feign being appalled at that. Settle for a margarita because you are reclaiming it as retro cool. Complain about the crowd. Chug the margarita until give yourself one of those headaches that feels like an icicle stabbing you in your third eye. Leave.
Squeeze into Sweaty Betty’s. Complain about the crowd. Complain about the music. Laugh at what all the hipsters are wearing even though you are wearing the same thing. Order a Caesar. Complain that it’s bad. Drink it anyway. Attempt to flirt with the bartender by asking him/her to make you “a really crazy shot”. Drink three of whatever sugary substance she/he has poured for you. Leave.
Etc. Read the Rest.
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